Chances are that over the course of last couple of weeks, you had more than your fair share of cell phone usage, with Christmas and New Year’s messages flooding your mobile device. What probably didn’t occur to you is that all of these well wishes will probably kill you in the end, especially if you’re using a Chinese cell phone. Though there are less stories now, 2009 saw a series of exploding cell phone batteries, which injured several people and were suspect in some killings. The explosions may have been limited in number, but severe in consequences, often mutilating hands, chests, and thighs, causing severe burns, and in some cases, loss of fingers.

One victim shows the scars from her cell phone explosion. This was the least graphic image we could find. Some of the more severe cases can be found by baiduing: 手机爆炸, or cell phone explosion.

While the number of exploding cellphones has dropped greatly, phones, particularly fake ones, still pose a massive health risk due to the amount of radiation they emit. Standards are often lacking, and when present, they are rarely enforce them, which is probably why we’ve seen such things as iPhones catching on fire.

Shanzhai phones emit 10 times the level of radiation.

But even worse are the fake Shanzhai 山寨 phones, which often include extra numbers of features (such as double SIM cards and TV), and are certainly not tested for anything during production, although one local agency discovered radiation levels 10 times higher than those of regular cell phones.

Regular cell phones are bad enough, and if you’ve ever taken the time to read through the manual of major cell phone manufacturers like Apple, you’d know that you should keep the iPhone at least 15 mm away from your body, 25 mm if you’re using Motorola or Blackberry. These standards are issued by Industry Canada, and tested on SAM, the Standard Anthropomorphic Man, who is based on the average Canadian military recruit, who is 188 cm tall, weighs over 90 kg, and has a 5 kg head. He’s also never been exposed to radiation ever before. Unfortunately for our future generations, tests are not performed on children or teenagers, whose cell phone use has been sky rocketing, and who are probably not reading a stupid manual anyway.

Wifi is another major culprit, and electropollution has been shown to negatively affect brain function and development, especially in Children. Keep his in mind when you go anywhere – coffee shops, schools, the CBD. At least it’s one of the upsides to China’s recent crackdown on Wifi in restaurants.

"General, my men have run out of granades! What do we do?" "Just pop over to the village around the corner and buy a couple of cellphone batteries!"

So what can you do to stay safe?

Don’t buy Shanzhai. We know it’s tempting, but does that cool feature or saved money go with you into the afterlife? No! So don’t do it.

Keep your phone far away from your body. Keep it in your bag instead of your pockets

Keep it short. If you need to talk, talk less.

Text more.  Kids will think your hipper, and you’ll stay sharper longer.

Say it loud. Use that hands-free feature! If it’s confidential, use a headset. It won’t eliminate all of the signal, but every bit helps.

Turn off your Wi-Fi modem: try to turn off your modem at night when going to bed even if you don’t have one in your bedroom. Just in case…