Won! A basket of Cheese!
Nothing says love like cheese! To celebrate our recent issue on Love, Liu Yang, the brilliant and generous cheese maker of Beijing has offered us three large cheese baskets for our readers. How can you get your hands on one? Tell us your cheesiest line! The winner will be chosen by a panel of editors (mind your spelling) and announced on August 10.
If you can’t wait, you can also order directly from Beijing’s own cheesemaker at www.lefromagerdepekin.com.
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24 Comments
The cheesiest line that was told to me in China was…..ahem… Hey, do you have a little Chinese in you? I said ..No… He said… Do you want some? ….
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them ‘The first one who can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.’ The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly
and says ‘I love liver and cheese.’ ‘Oh, how childish,’ said the Poodle. That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever. She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said ‘How well can you do? ‘Um. I HATE liver and cheese,’ blurts the Golden Retriever. ‘My, my,’ said the Poodle. ‘I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the Lab’s sentence.’
She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, ‘How about you, little guy?’
The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says.
‘Liver alone. Cheese mine.’
Your beauty rivals the graphics of Doom 3.
Here was a line that was given to me and my line I gave in response:
The potential suitor: “I’m here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy.”
Me: “You mean you’ve got both a donkey and a Great Dane?”
Are you tired? Because you’ve been running around my head all day…..
My love for you is like laduzi, I just can’t hold it in.
Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
If you were suddenly transported to the sun because of an evil scheme devised by an evil Russian chicken and asked to take off your clothes and make love to the burning flames and then recite the presidents in alphabetical order by their middle name while juggling 11 midgets holding soda cans between your two front teeth that will be operated on by 86 evil Czechoslovakian dentists named Farkus who got their degrees studying the taste buds of Tom Selleck at a college named after some guy who wasted away his life by eating pork grinds naked in his mom’s basement while searching for pictures of Kirsten Dunst to use for purposes that cannot be explained by the 1972 Junior High class of some school that no one cares about in Eastern Idaho where woodland creatures choose to spend their lives trying to recreate some bad 1940′s soap opera instead of frolicking happily in the woods, would you prefer chocolate ice cream or vanilla?
Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn’t matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can’t cross the river (i.e., …bunny jump in river, bunny goes *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say “I don’t know, I just wanted to hold your hand.”
“Bond. James Bond.”
Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.
Cheesiest line, but kinda cute since it’s not too raunchy…”I heard that Asian girls’ ears are so soft and long. Are yours like that?”
“Instead of buying you a drink, how about I tuck you into bed tonight?”
Wouldn’t you love to eat [white, dark, mocha, milk - whatever applies to you] chocolate for breakfast? Well, I promise my chocolate is calorie free
Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color…Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes…Blizzard Blue.
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
I must say the cheesiest line I have used are the infamous words of Joey Tribianni on the Iconic American series Friends:
” Hey, How you doing? ” with the low voice and left eye brow raised
NB: It worked too, turns out she had a Joey crush. Hehe
The first time I went to the Great Wall I did the Simatai to Jinshanling walk with a random guy I just met. He seemed sane enough until… as I stood overlooking the Wall he comes up behind me, places his hands on either side and whispers sweetly in my ear, “Do you see any Mongols?”
if i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put u and i next to each other.
))
and another favorite: i know milk does a body good.. but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that…your number’s not in it.
I’m rennin and you’re milk. Lets coagulate.
hey girl, do you mind if I call you “spanner”?…..why?…because every time I look at you, my nuts tighten…..
Wooooooow. These are really impressive, and you’ve definitely made this Monday a lot more interesting. Well, some of you have! Our cheese came early so we have to give our the prize today! Hannah and SMJ – you two won hands down! The whole team agreed that you’re the winners. The third basket was a bit more challenging, but after much contemplation and giggling, we’ve decided to give the award to Han Chen! Hope you guys love the cheese as much as we’ve enjoyed smelling it today!